Sometimes I am angry, sometimes I feel sorry for Aubree,
sometimes I feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I cry over it all! Why her? Why MY baby girl? Why can I not just make macaroni and cheese
and call it lunch for all the kids? Why can we not stop and pick up a quick
pizza on the way home because I am exhausted and don’t want to cook? Why an Ice
Cream social instead of a fruit social? Why do I have to take these extra
precautions? Do other people understand how easy they have it?
To me, those are normal
feelings. Having a 3 year old that is Severely allergic to Milk, peanuts,
wheat, eggs and soy is no easy task.
There is a lot of daily prep that goes along with having
that many allergies. Her “special” food is much more expensive than the normal
stuff, can’t be bought at all grocery stores and also tastes much different. We
could not possibly cut all of those foods out of our house completely.
Therefore, I do a lot of double cooking. Our kind AND Aubree’s kind. That means 2 kinds of pizza, two kinds of
cookies, two kinds of spaghetti, two kinds of so many different foods. Most of
the time she eats a variety of what we are having. For example, she can have meat loaf (oatmeal
not crackers) make her a small one that does not have egg in it. She can have
plain potatoes…but no milk, butter, cheese, sour cream….just plain ole
potatoes. If I am making cheesy potatoes for the rest of the family, I will just
make sure to take hers out before adding cheese and other non-Aubree safe
foods. What if she is SUPER hungry today and I don’t save her out enough? Making 100% sure not to cross contaminate
anything. Utensils, ect. I could spend $4 on a single can of her kind of
chicken noodle soup. Be so excited because it is something new and different. Then
she won’t even touch it because she is 3 and they can often be finicky eaters. …..SIGH!
Here is just another example of what we deal with ….Hallie
just started Kindergarten. I got information about her Open house in the mail…Come
meet your teacher and have an Ice Cream treat. My mind immediately thinks about
Aubree. She wants to go to the Open House too and see where her big sister is going
to be every day. I DON’T want to go
there and everyone else is eating ice cream and her just watch. How horrible
would that be? If you have a little child, think what would my kid do in that situation?
See everyone eating a yummy treat like ice cream, sorry honey you can’t have
any……Most kids that are three would throw a fit until you gave in and gave it to them. I
CAN’T just give in and give it anyway. It could be her life. Since I had
advance warning about the ice cream I could make arrangements. I emailed her
teacher to find out what the treats would be. Fudge pops, ice cream sandwiches,
and drum sticks. I was determined to bring her something similar. Her wonderful
Nana found her kind of fudge pops. So I wrapped that fudge pop up in a bunch of
ice packs and put in a small container to help keep it frozen. That way my baby
girl could have an ice cream treat like all the other young kids. What if I didn’t know they were serving ice
cream?? We would have been in that situation someone would not be happy. I
could not let any of my kids have an ice cream treat because Aubree couldn’t. I
am sure they would be disappointed Hallie understands, Keegan does not. But
they would still see all the other kids with it. Or I could let Hallie and
Keegan have one and Aubree not because it is not safe. Then I am sure she would
be disappointed. I would have been in a no win situation. We are in situations
SO very often. It is just not fair.
It is a completely
different life than we had 4 short years ago. There is no I don’t feel like
messing with it today. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY….NO exception.
Almost 4 years later it is still hard and I still ask
myself all of those same questions. But as time goes on and Aubree is growing
up, she has that little spunky personality and is MY little girl. I know the
answers to some of those questions.
GOD chose US for Aubree and AUBREE for us!
She is MINE! I will
go to great lengths for her. I will do everything in my power to make her feel
special and loved. I will keep her safe. Make her feel included. Her Allergies
have shaped her into the little girl that I love so much. Her Allergies have
shaped me into the Momma that I am today. As hard as it can be at times I would
NOT change it. It helps make us, US!
Aubree is smart and will do great things. Are some days hard? Yes! BUT that is
OUR life and I LOVE our life!
I want to help others that are dealing with the similar
issues. Aubree was given to me for a reason. I could put on a happy face and
act like it is no big deal, a piece of cake, and never question why. But that
is not real. That would not be real for anyone dealing with multiple food
allergies. I like real. I want others dealing with similar things to not feel alone.
It IS overwhelming and hard, but not impossible!
One of Aubree’s new favorite songs : FOOD ALLERGIES ROCK
